Life is Funny
I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The
pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that
calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who
was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and
I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have
some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more
faith I could be healed."
The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those
white canes?"
"Yes I do," she replied.
"Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head
with the cane," He said. "Then tell them, 'If you had more
faith that wouldn't hurt!'"
Received from The Cybersalt Digest.
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pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that
calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who
was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and
I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have
some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more
faith I could be healed."
The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those
white canes?"
"Yes I do," she replied.
"Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head
with the cane," He said. "Then tell them, 'If you had more
faith that wouldn't hurt!'"
Received from The Cybersalt Digest.
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80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied: A can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen
them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her
how many peaches were in the can. She replied, 6. The judge then said,
"I will give you 6 days in jail."
how many peaches were in the can. She replied, 6. The judge then said,
"I will give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment
the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say
something. The judge said,What is it?"
something. The judge said,What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
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Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I
discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better
days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.
By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go
outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over
again. My wife agreed.
I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile,
announced, "Honey, I'm home!"
"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's
after seven o'clock!"
Received from Pastor Tim.
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There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six
years old. Something of his had found its way into my
garage, he said, and he wanted it back.
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a
baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.
"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one
look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it
right through that hole!"
Received from Andychap.
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The coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave
me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
"I did? What did I tell you?" asked the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that
big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks
in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of
my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds.'"
Received from Jason B.
Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I
discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better
days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.
By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go
outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over
again. My wife agreed.
I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile,
announced, "Honey, I'm home!"
"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's
after seven o'clock!"
Received from Pastor Tim.
______________________________________________________
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six
years old. Something of his had found its way into my
garage, he said, and he wanted it back.
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a
baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.
"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one
look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it
right through that hole!"
Received from Andychap.
_______________________________________________________
The coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave
me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.
"I did? What did I tell you?" asked the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that
big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks
in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of
my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds.'"
Received from Jason B.
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