Apologies to My Doctor
(With apologies to my personal physician... Of course this doesn't apply to you! 
)
What the doctor says: "This should be taken care of right away."
What the doctor is thinking: "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."
What the doctor says: "Welllllll, what have we here?"
What the doctor is thinking: "He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue."
What the doctor says, "Let me check your medical history."
What the doctor is thinking: "I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."
What the doctor says: "We have some good news and some bad news."
What the doctor is thinking -- "The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it."
What the doctor says, "Let's see how it develops."
What the doctor is thinking, "Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured."
What the doctor says, "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
What the doctor is thinking, 'I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of
time." Or, "I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit."
What the doctor says, "Let me schedule you for some tests."
What the doctor is thinking, "I have a forty percent interest in the lab."
What the doctor says, "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
What the doctor is thinking, "I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig."
What the doctor says, "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
What the doctor is thinking, "I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself."
What the doctor says, "That's quite a nasty looking wound."
What the doctor is thinking, "I think I'm going to throw up."
What the doctor says, "This may hurt a little."
What the doctor is thinking, "Last week two patients bit off their tongues."
What the doctor says, "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"
What the doctor is thinking, "I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?"
What the doctor says, "This should fix you up."
What the doctor is thinking, "The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff."
What the doctor says, "Everything seems to be normal."
What the doctor is thinking, "Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all."
What the doctor says, "I'd like to run some more tests."
What the doctor is thinking, "I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one."
What the doctor says, "There is a lot of that going around."
What the doctor is thinking, "That's the third one this week! I'd better learn something about this."
What the doctor says, "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
What the doctor is thinking, "I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thankfully I'm off next week."
)What the doctor says: "This should be taken care of right away."
What the doctor is thinking: "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."
What the doctor says: "Welllllll, what have we here?"
What the doctor is thinking: "He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue."
What the doctor says, "Let me check your medical history."
What the doctor is thinking: "I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."
What the doctor says: "We have some good news and some bad news."
What the doctor is thinking -- "The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it."
What the doctor says, "Let's see how it develops."
What the doctor is thinking, "Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured."
What the doctor says, "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
What the doctor is thinking, 'I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of
time." Or, "I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit."
What the doctor says, "Let me schedule you for some tests."
What the doctor is thinking, "I have a forty percent interest in the lab."
What the doctor says, "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
What the doctor is thinking, "I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig."
What the doctor says, "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
What the doctor is thinking, "I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself."
What the doctor says, "That's quite a nasty looking wound."
What the doctor is thinking, "I think I'm going to throw up."
What the doctor says, "This may hurt a little."
What the doctor is thinking, "Last week two patients bit off their tongues."
What the doctor says, "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"
What the doctor is thinking, "I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?"
What the doctor says, "This should fix you up."
What the doctor is thinking, "The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff."
What the doctor says, "Everything seems to be normal."
What the doctor is thinking, "Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all."
What the doctor says, "I'd like to run some more tests."
What the doctor is thinking, "I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one."
What the doctor says, "There is a lot of that going around."
What the doctor is thinking, "That's the third one this week! I'd better learn something about this."
What the doctor says, "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
What the doctor is thinking, "I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thankfully I'm off next week."
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