• If  Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and   Sarah.    
• If  Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,  Godzilla and Four-eyes.

   
EATING  OUT:

• When  the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.   None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.    
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket  calculators.

   
MONEY:

• A  man will pay $2 for a $1 item he  needs.    
• A  woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

   
BATHROOMS:

• A  man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..    
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

   
ARGUMENTS:

• A  woman has the last word in any argument.    
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   
FUTURE:

• A  woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.    
• A  man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

   
SUCCESS:

• A  successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.    
• A  successful woman is one who can find such a  man.

   
MARRIAGE:

• A  woman marries a man expecting he will change,  but he doesn't.    
• A  man marries a woman expecting that she won't  change, but she does.  

   
DRESSING  UP:

• A  woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.    
• A  man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

   
NATURAL:

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.    
• Women somehow deteriorate during the  night.

   
OFFSPRING:

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.    
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

   
THOUGHT FOR THE   DAY:

A  married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same  thing!