Signs Your SUV Is Too Big
Signs Your SUV Is Too Big
~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull,
the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium
racetrack.
~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five
dollars a share for the quarter.
~ Your garage is larger than your house.
~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede
you down the interstate.
~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as
"downsizing."
~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.
~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004
Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.
~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo
Metro into orbit.
~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in
the back.
~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down
into an entire field, complete with goals.
~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's
seat.
~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.
~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be
dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.
~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.
Received from Andy Maslin.
~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull,
the parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium
racetrack.
~ When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five
dollars a share for the quarter.
~ Your garage is larger than your house.
~ One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede
you down the interstate.
~ Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as
"downsizing."
~ Before you go out, you have to file for a parade permit.
~ You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004
Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.
~ It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo
Metro into orbit.
~ There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in
the back.
~ It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
~ It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down
into an entire field, complete with goals.
~ You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's
seat.
~ Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
~ Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.
~ You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be
dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.
~ The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.
Received from Andy Maslin.
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