From This Week's TEXASCOOK.COM

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend… if you have one.” -
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if
there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response.
__________________________________________________________

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9
__________________________________________________________

Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows
who had been rivals all their lives followed different career
paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the
other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop.

As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport.
The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly,
"Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?"
The Admiral approached, bowed, and said
"Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition.
__________________________________________________________

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,
"I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will
do the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that my dear," she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he
would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."

 

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