A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'

My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' 

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.       

Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. 

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald 

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.  

'Big breaths,'. . .  I instructed. 

'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.  

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes  

 During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 

˜Which one?'. .. . I asked.

'The patch...  The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' 

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see.  Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!  

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair  

 While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' 

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . 

' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson