Alligator Teeth/Little Old Lady
Alligator Teeth
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much
to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
~ Received from Thomas Ellsworth
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Little Old Lady
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became
irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step
onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every
day.
One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady
stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for
me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there
were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES
FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted:
"THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE
THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
~ Received from Donald Pohlner
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much
to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
~ Received from Thomas Ellsworth
___________________________________________________________________________
Little Old Lady
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became
irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step
onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every
day.
One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady
stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for
me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there
were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES
FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted:
"THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE
THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
~ Received from Donald Pohlner
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