A Few Clean Ones
Dental Work
A guy went to his dentist for a checkup, and the dentist saw
that his dental plate was all corroded.
The dentist asked, "What have you been doing? Have you
changed your diet or anything?"
The patient said, "I've discovered Hollandaise sauce and eat
it every chance I get. Maybe that's what's causing the
problem."
The dentist answered, "Oh, I see. In that case, I'll make
you a new plate out of chrome."
The patient was puzzled. "Chrome? Why chrome?" he asked.
The dentist answered, "Because there's no plate like chrome
for the Hollandaise."
Received from Heidi Hass
________________________________________________________________
Thirteen
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and
all the patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap
in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some jerk then poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting, "14...14...14...14."
Received from Michael B. Wright (Tampa)
_________________________________________________________________
Little Old Lady
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became
irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step
onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every
day.
One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady
stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for
me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there
were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES
FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted:
"THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE
THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
Received from Donald Pohlner
__________________________________________________________________
Two-Day Course For Men
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The
course covers two days, and topics covered in this course
include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step-by-step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning
the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE
BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR
HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER
AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT
Learning how to live with being wrong all the time
Received from Max Lee
__________________________________________________________________
A guy went to his dentist for a checkup, and the dentist saw
that his dental plate was all corroded.
The dentist asked, "What have you been doing? Have you
changed your diet or anything?"
The patient said, "I've discovered Hollandaise sauce and eat
it every chance I get. Maybe that's what's causing the
problem."
The dentist answered, "Oh, I see. In that case, I'll make
you a new plate out of chrome."
The patient was puzzled. "Chrome? Why chrome?" he asked.
The dentist answered, "Because there's no plate like chrome
for the Hollandaise."
Received from Heidi Hass
________________________________________________________________
Thirteen
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and
all the patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap
in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some jerk then poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting, "14...14...14...14."
Received from Michael B. Wright (Tampa)
_________________________________________________________________
Little Old Lady
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto
her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became
irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step
onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every
day.
One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady
stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for
me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there
were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES
FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted:
"THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted:
"PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE
THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
Received from Donald Pohlner
__________________________________________________________________
Two-Day Course For Men
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The
course covers two days, and topics covered in this course
include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step-by-step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning
the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE
BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR
HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER
AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT
Learning how to live with being wrong all the time
Received from Max Lee
__________________________________________________________________
Good post man, just looking around some blogs, seems a pretty nice platform you are using.
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Thanks for reading my website and for writing your comment.
However, I'm not a 'man', but a Grandmother of six. Maggie
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